Meet Haumea Mama, Amy! Amy is the mama of 4 children, she talks about how motherhood is “a continuous process of letting go”! Wow.. what words of wisdom. See what she means in her interview.
Want the chance to see Amy in person? She will be leading our Breastfeeding Essentials class in 2020, will be available for private breastfeeding consultations and on her mat (especially for 9:30am Flow on Mondays!)
What did you struggle with the most during your birth?
I've got 4 kids and 4 very different birth stories. It's pretty cliche but I learned the most from my first birth which was a pretty traumatic home birth transfer to hospital cesarean. I learned that always have a plan c, or at least acknowledge that it may be an option. I was so cocky, I did everything "right" in my pregnancy. Birth was going to be a glorious, perfect, magical, transformative experience in the comfort of home. So, labor was just that, but my baby was asynclytic and I pushed for 6 hours at 10 cm and he just wasn't going to make that last little turn. After the cesarean birth, and return to life, my world was upside down. I'm not sure but I possibly had some post partum depression, which was increased a few years later after a 13 week miscarriage. What I have gained from that time is an appreciation for letting go. Parenting is letting go, of control, of the outcome, of your life as it once was. I learned that I have so much support and I learned to ask for help. These experiences have helped me be a better practitioner and a better mom.
Have you taken time to process being a mom? Do you find it hard to acknowledge all that you do in this role?
Right now I don't remember life before being a mom. My oldest is 18 and a freshman in college. This is the hardest letting go so far. How do I mom from far away, I'm still working on it? So far I'm not really needed and I guess that's what I wanted, but it sure sucks. Being mom in the morning on school days is one of my biggest challenges. Getting 4 of us outta here on time, taking care of dog and chickens, and not yelling is so hard. The role of calendar master, planner of everything, that's the tough stuff. Especially if something out of the ordinary pops up. Someone wakes up barfing, here we go. In a house of 5 or 6 that one sickness means a lot more. Always waiting for the next. I wish that anxiety wasn't there for me!
What do you love most about motherhood?
I love seeing the kids differences and following their interests. They vary in their activities, which makes for challenging evenings and weekends at times. I have great family and friends that have bailed us out of tricky times of needing to be 3 places at once.
Has being a mom changed you? If so, in what ways?
I used to be so planned and rigid, I actually miss that ability. But learning to be chill and flow is the best change. Mothering has also taught me to learn to love myself. The way kids see us is who we are. That's big shit.
What resources helped you during your pregnancy and/or postpartum?
I have sought out great midwives and care providers. In my first pregnancies i didn't have social media, and the world was more connected locally. Sometimes that was a challenge, but it was a lot quieter in my head. I think media has created a lot of fear in moms about everything. It takes a lot not to listen to all of the fear mongering about seemingly everything right now. In my practice I try to help be a voice of reason and calm. Just keeping most things simple seems to work best.
If you could go back and give yourself advice during your pregnancy, what would you tell yourself?
Haha, the kiss principle. Keep it simple student! It applies to most scenarios in life, but especially pregnancy and parenting. Also, ask for and receive help.